I am not so sure that the columnist has it right. The best spokesperson is the person who made the "wrong" choice, and now talks about living with the consequences. That person speaks from experience. What kind of credibility would I have talking about the efficacy of natural child birth? My position on abortion I believe is reasoned and well thought out. Does my intellect make me the better spokes person then those that actually have had to make that decision, whether pro or con?

The point is not her credibility, the point is the impact her 'don't do what I did' campaign will have on her child. Not many children enjoy hearing their mother say, no matter how carefully, they should have done things differently.

"What does this communicate to little Tripp? No matter how many times Bristol says he's a blessing and not a mistake, the fact that she's telling other teens not to have children strongly implies that she wishes she had done something else. In other words, sad as it is to say it, she wishes she hadn't given birth to him."

I see (and agree) with what Steph is saying. Being the poster mom for abstinence could be damaging to the child, who will grow up hearing about the bad choices (like having sex and creating him) his mom made.

I know what you're getting at Grandpa, but this is more about the child's perspective.

So, can the result be an accident and a blessing? I don't see the problem with her saying "I love my child, but I wish I had waited until I was older."

No one can say how this will affect her son later on. My sister had her first child when she was 17. She has always said the same thing - she adores her oldest daughter, but wished she had been able to have her later in life instead of when she was a teenager. She has always been honest with her children about this. There is no way to NOT see how much my sister loves all of her children and they all know that they are loved. I think her example of having been there before and being honest about it did more to encourage her children to discuss sex with her and use protection to prevent unwanted pregnancy than hearing someone who hasn't been there say the same thing.

"... the point is the impact her 'don't do what I did' campaign will have on her child."

Alot of that depends on how she presents that message to her child, Steph.

I'm with Sarah. Plus, if you really think about it, if Bristol had waited, Tripp wouldn't have been born--not in the same sense, at least. The unfertilized egg that is now Tripp would have missed his chance in line and she would have instead given birth to Chase Rooster Palin or Bullet Bodycheck Palin, not Tripp. I see what she's saying, but it is a different and interesting perspective.

"..instead given birth to Chase Rooster Palin or Bullet Bodycheck Palin,"

I know many single moms who had their kids at a very young age and love their kids with all their hearts and would totally agree with what she is saying and teach their children not to do as they had done.
I am sure the kids notice the hardships of being a young single mother and a child to one- it is not rocket science that it is not a good choice for many people.
Her saying so, if she is a loving mom, is not going to be harmful to her kid. If she is a loving mom she will be honest and truthful with her children.

Sad as it is to say, I think that it is the truth so she should be free to speak it. I am actually pretty tired of hearing women who are completely underwater trying to make it sound as if having a baby makes their life complete and everything is perfect and rosy. They might feel guilty to say otherwise, but I think owning up to the challenges is something young girls need to hear.

It is HARD to have a baby as a teen, it is hard to have a baby when you aren't financially sound. These are realities American culture needs to accept. I think over glorification of motherhood is not a healthy thing for our society.

I agree that it all depends on how she presents this to her son. Like Dave said, "a mistake and a blessing". Just because she may wish she waited until she was older and settled, does not mean that she wishes he wasn't born. It means she acknowledges she did not make the best choice and encourages others to not follow in her footsteps.

What I find ridiculous, and I don't see that it is specifically stated in this article, is if she is taking an abstinence only stance, which she proves clearly does not work.

"It is HARD to have a baby as a teen, it is hard to have a baby when you aren't financially sound. These are realities American culture needs to accept. I think over glorification of motherhood is not a healthy thing for our society."

I agree with everything you say Jillness. I don't believe women should have children to fill some sort of hole inside of them or to have some one to love, but it seems that most women I know have babies so they can feel "complete."

People need to hear that raising children is challenging in every possible way. I do believe Bristol makes a good spokesperson for anti-teen pregnancy organizations but I do wish she had gone the route of promoting sex education rather than abstinence. Seems to me she would be a better poster child for why teens need to be educated rather than be left lingering in ignorance.

I agree with you 100 percent. I personally think she makes a good spokesperson, because having a child as a young age is tough, even with all the parental help that's available. She can show others her pregnancy was a result of poor decision makings. As far as bring up her child. Let's be honest, the majority of us on earth are "accidents" and unplanned, and for the most us, we're all perfectly fine without any mommy issues. As long as she doesn't constantly bring up that fact up to her child, he'll be fine.

Bristol's 18, the baby's still young, the father is gone and carrying on a somewhat public dispute with her family, and Bristol's still trying to go to school - how smart is it to add being a spokesperson to her schedule? We have adult moms here talking about their hormones being all over the place, how about Bristol's?

Off-topic: Has anyone had a chat with their parents about their (the parent's) decision to have kids? I know one guy whose mother said she loved him, but if she had it to do over, she'd have had a career instead; one woman was born because there was a coup in the country where her mother was headed for an abortion (obviously some time ago); one woman's mother was happy to have her, but her father had always felt she was their ill-timed kid and resented her...

Hey, Steph, funny you should ask...mom and I were just talking about that yesterday (although I have known the whole story for years!). I was a total accident, my mom wasn't supposed to have any more kids after my sister and a few miscarriages after. She actually had tons of complications, and the doctors kept telling her they could arrange to get rid of me, but she said no. Eventually the complications were too much and I was born 2 1/2 months premature. Doctors said no way would I live, but here I am - my mother always said she knew from the moment she first felt me kicking that I was a survivor and there was no way she was going to "get rid of me".

All your opinions are so intersting because I feel the opposite in that I feel like motherhood isn't glorified AT ALL anymore and if anything, it's looked down upon in some circles.

That's a cool story Martini! Every baby should have a mom so thrilled to have them.

I don't know what circles look down on moms Haus, so I can't relate.

i get the feeling from some militantly feminists circles that motherhood is as looked down upon as marriage is by those same people.

Hm, I must hang out in different militantly feminist circles.

or you could just not see how i do...

The feminists I know either have children of their own or nieces, nephews or godchildren they dote on. I honestly have never met a feminist who looks down on motherhood. Even the 'militant' career women I know also have children of friends or family they dote on. They may have a different view than you do of what a good mother should be, but no one I know looks down on motherhood in and of itself.

That doesn't mean it doesn't exist or the sentiment isn't out there.

And no where have I said that it isn't, just that I can't relate to the claim.

Thats fine.

"I do believe Bristol makes a good spokesperson for anti-teen pregnancy organizations but I do wish she had gone the route of promoting sex education rather than abstinence. Seems to me she would be a better poster child for why teens need to be educated rather than be left lingering in ignorance."

I can agree with that. Since an abstinence only stance obviously didn't work for her, maybe she should focus on sex ed instead. Teens are going to have sex, they're going to experiment. What's wrong with being well prepared?

Haus it's funny you should mentioned military feminist. My mom was looked down upon by both other members in the military and military wives and mothers for remaining as active duty for 10 years even after having 3 children. We all know we weren't planned because let's face it, having two parents in different branches of military who were both active at the time; planning a family wasn't a priority for my parents. But we arrived and they dealt with it.

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Life is short. Enjoy it while you can.

I think theres a lot of inter-women rivalry that is pretty sad.

I can what you're saying about feminists haus. It's not everyone, but there are always a few in each group that look down on anyone who disagrees with them and unfortunately those people are always the loudest.

This is an article from a woman who seems to be part of one of those "circles" that Haus mentioned.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/feb/08/motherhood-children-b...

"dummy mummy"

"Once upon a time, educated women fought to separate their identities from the ideal of mother, knowing that until the two came to be seen as wholly distinct they would never be taken seriously; and, in any case, who wants to be defined by only one aspect of their life? In the past decade, however - a decade that began, if you are in search of neat bookends, with the birth of Brooklyn Beckham - a growing number of women have reverted, 50s-style, to identifying themselves primarily, vociferously, and sometimes exclusively, as mothers. They fetishise childbirth, and obsess about all that follows it, in a way that is almost, if not quite, beyond satire, and which makes me feel a bit sick."

Ouch.

Interesting article though Roar! Thanks for passing it on.

I agree with what a lot of people have said.

I think Jill said it best. It is possible for Bristol to say, "I love my child with all of my heart, but I wish I had waited," without damaging her child. And, I also agree with those who have said that Bristol makes a good anti-teen pregnancy spokesperson. It's refreshing to see someone say that yes, she made a mistake. However, like others, I wish she would promote both abstinence (as the best possible choice for pregnancy and STD prevention) and birth control (both hormonal and other forms).

Oh, and I also know some (not a lot, but some) people who look down on motherhood. I once heard someone say, "she's so intelligent, creative, and driven, but she's wasting all of that on being a mom." (And, this was about a 28-year-old woman in a stable relationship.)

I would argue that the percentage of women who look down on mothers would be pretty close to the women who look down on those that choose not to have children at all.

I agree, blue.

Good point, Sarah!

I'm always more impressed with the women who chose not to have children! Just because its not a popular choice and I think its great that people know themselves well enough to make that choice for themselves. There's a lot of people who have children who probably shouldn't...

"There's a lot of people who have children who probably shouldn't..."

Not probably, definitely, and with out a doubt shouldn't, hous.

Excellent point, Sarah.

Thanks!